An “Out of Buddy Experience”.

It started on our first morning at Hosteria Izhcayluma, a small lodge in the mountains surrounding the village of Vilcabamba, Ecuador.  The area has been historically referred to as the “Playground of the Inca’s”, because it was once used as a retreat for Incan royalty.

We were supposed to arrive a day earlier, but after 13 hours of flights to nowhere, delays, miscommunications and many wingman practices to keep us positive, we finally arrived.

After a decent nights sleep we decided some exercise was in order. Our host at the reception desk pointed us on an easy hike, which his “70 year old mother could do”.  It had wonderful views of “Mandango” mountain, the “Sleeping Inca”, which overlooks this “Valley of Longevity”, and whose presence is said to protect the area from earthquakes and other natural disasters.

It’s called the Valley of Longevity because it is widely believed that its inhabitants grow to a very old age. The reasons for this claimed longevity are debatable, with many researchers arguing between the anti-oxidant rich fruit and vegetables and the mineral rich water.

Either way, the locals are said to live a longer life than most.

Fifteen minutes into our hike, and I’m wondering if I’m going to live to see tomorrow. We’re trudging through creeks, slogging through mud and balancing ourselves on trails made for horses. I was definitely a little outside my comfort zone and the comic relief from my thought that his mother must be a “mudder” was the only thing keeping me going forward.

We finally made it to a dirt road, which seemed to be an easier path, other than the fact it went straight uphill. I’d like to blame the 5000 foot altitude, but the extra 10 pounds I’ve gained during the holiday season certainly had as much to do with my huffing, puffing, sitting, cursing and resting every few minutes.

It was at that moment a four-wheel drive truck came cruising up the hill and a man asked if we’d like a ride. Visions of us being chopped up in little pieces and never heard from again lost out to the burning sensation in my legs. Outside my comfort zone, you betcha.
But at least I could breathe for the moment.

Now here is where the fun begins. The guy turns out to be the former monologue writer for Jay Leno and the “Tonight Show”, Buddy Winston. After an uphill drive, a rocky walk with his groceries over his washed out driveway and a mini botany lesson, we arrived at his place at the top of the world with 360 degree views. He invited us in for tea, made from Guayusa leaves, which tasted great and reminded me more of the “T” in THC, than any tea I’ve had in the states. We hung with Buddy and his dogs as he entertained us with stories of Hollywood, this area of Ecuador, and his travels and misadventures in Malaysia and Thailand.

It turns out he wrote a book based on his time in the “Land of Smiles”.

Titled, “An Out of Buddy Experience”, he recounts his “95% true” adventures of accidentally preventing a rebel bombing and being chased by a contingent of monk assassins.


I bought the book on Amazon that night and have been really enjoying it since.

Time went by quickly and we said our goodbyes and embarked on the downhill part of our journey. I recall thinking that this is what makes traveling so magical. It’s not just the people you meet, but your expanded horizons, new perspectives and shared adventures. And especially the unexpected experiences that just magically crop up… such as a truck pulling up behind us and driving us to the top of the world.

And so it inspired a new Wingman Minute Practice … “The Magic Begins Just Outside Your Comfort Zone”. The funny thing is, when you step outside your comfort zone, in time, a new level of security and safety is established. What once may have seemed scary or anxiety producing is now your new normal. For me it began a year ago. I mean, I’m a guy who ate at the same restaurant every day, so as we boarded our plane to Thailand for a four-month adventure, my anxiety was so off the charts that Janet kept reassuring me that if I didn’t like traveling we could just change our plans and come home.

Now, here we are, starting our second year of travel and I’m hiking through jungles and can’t wait for more. I pushed through my worries and have found a new comfort zone.

Perhaps this new wingman practice can be the impetus for you to begin extending yourself. Whether it’s travel, a new relationship or ending an old one, public speaking, a new job, or whatever your desire is, this practice is the perfect strategy to start sending out a new vibration, and begin extending your own self-imposed limitations.

Join me by clicking below, and let’s help each other have our own “Out of Buddy Experience”…

Your Wingman,


Are You Wanting it? Needing it? Or Allowing it?

Have you ever desired something? Silly question, of course you have.

But have you ever desired it so much that you felt like you needed it?

  • And the more you wanted it, the further you seemed to push it away?

That’s the situation I find myself in as I anxiously await news about a potential, very exciting project.

I feel like…

  • A schoolgirl dissecting every part of her conversation with her (hopeful) boyfriend.
  • A salesman waiting to hear from his prospective client.
  • Or a parent who wants their child to listen to them so badly that they don’t stop talking long enough to hear what their child has to say.

And as I observe my vibration, I realize that instead of attracting my desire, I’m actually pushing it further away.

Because it’s all about vibration.

Right now my vibe has that unpleasant feeling of desperation. Have you ever felt it?

That point where you cross the threshold of feeling inspired by the excitement of wanting something, to the unhealthy obsession of needing it to happen NOW.

But it never does, at least not when you are emitting that anxiety-ridden frequency.  When that is your vibration, there is no possibility you will manifest your desire.

Wayne Dyer called it desire vs. desire-less.

He stated that everything starts with a desire.

But to receive it, you have to become desire-less.

Maybe a little.

Perhaps my Wingman Continuum Practice can help.

You simply step back and observe where your vibration is on the continuum of needing vs. wanting vs. allowing. Is it too close to needing, i.e., you realize you’re actually resisting it, almost forcing any other outcome than that which you desire?

                                The Wingman Continuum

Need                                            Want                                                         Allow

If so, it’s time to change your vibe.
It’s time to move it in the direction of allowing.

But how?
How do you become desire-less when you have a desired outcome?

I’ll tell you what I do.

I INVITE my intention to come to me. And then I let it go.

Sounds easy enough. Except it goes against everything I’ve learned since childhood.

I’m supposed to make things happen, not wait for them to happen.
I’m expected to push and fight and compete to achieve my goals.

Isn’t that what we’ve all been taught since an early age?

But what if that way is not working?

As I’ve grown older, I’ve become very clear that when I allow my ambitions to come to me, they seem to materialize much easier than when I try to impose my will.

That doesn’t mean I don’t work to attain them.
It does mean however, that I don’t allow myself to get to the point of NEEDING them. Because when you’re frantic for it, it rarely happens.

And when I invite my intentions to come to me, and then let them go, I totally change the vibration I’m sending out into the universe.

I become desire-less.

Give it a try. And start allowing your desires to come to you.

Your Wingman,


Click here to join me in my Wingman Continuum Practice.



Making the Same Mistake, Once Again.

Have you ever made the same mistake over and over and over again?
Where you do the same thing and expect a different result.
But the result is always the same.

Sort of like that quote about insanity.

“The definition of insanity is repeating the same mistakes over and over again and expecting different results,”

Actually it’s exactly like that quote.

The quote has often been attributed to Mark Twain, Benjamin Franklin and/or Albert Einstein. And whether or not any of them actually said it doesn’t matter.

What matters is that I’ve repeated this mistake many times in my life, and the results always seem to be the same.

And my vibration, which was fantastic just an hour ago, is now totally negative.

For I not only feel bad, I feel stupid, for allowing myself to make the same mistake once again.

It’s like I’m taking target practice at shooting myself in the foot.
And getting really good at it.

How about you? Do you ever find yourself in this situation?

It could be anything.


You’re a businessman who has “schemed” a better way only to get burned. Then you try it again.

A husband or wife who constantly picks an argument with your spouse even though it always ends in pain.

A purchaser of $100 worth of lottery tickets each week, yet you’ve never won once.

A sufferer of celiac disease who goes to their favorite pizza parlor, only to get sick, and then one month later you try it again.

Don Miguel Ruiz, in his wonderful book, “The Four Agreements” says that humans are the only species on earth who pay for a mistake a thousand times. Every other species moves on, but not us. We beat ourselves up, feel guilty, and keep replaying it in our mind.

It’s no wonder we repeat the same mistakes.

The wingman has a solution.
If you do ever find yourself beating yourself up for the same error and your vibration is taking a major hit, allow me to show you my wingman practice for turning it around.

I call it, “Thank you God” and what I do is say to myself for one minute,

“Thank you God, Thank you for teaching me this lesson once again”.

It’s a total vibe changer. Why? Because now instead of emitting a frequency of stupidity and pain, you’re changing your energy to positive by…

1. Saying thank you.
2. Being thankful for a lesson you obviously needed to learn. Again.
3. Allowing yourself to receive the lesson, and letting it sink in. Maybe this time it will actually sink in and you won’t have to learn it a thousand more times in your lifetime.

It’s worked pretty well for me. At least I only make this same mistake a few times a year, instead of weekly.

And with the New Year upon us, my resolution is to not make it once in 2017.

Please click below to join me in doing my wingman practice.

And have an amazing year where you only learn new lessons, not the same recurring ones.

Your Wingman,


PS… You can practice with me every morning, either on Facebook, at Be Your Own Wingman, on Twitter, @wingmanmichael, or on YouTube, at beyourownwingman.

PSS… If you want to improve your positive energy, increase your level of success, and begin living the life you desire, feel free to contact me for Skype sessions with both Janet, an LCSW and Psychotherapist for the past 20 years, and myself.

A Wingman Christmas Practice…

I don’t usually go all religious, but today is Christmas, as well as the first day of Hanukkah.

And so, to honor the birth of a Jewish boy who changed the world and and was one of the greatest spiritual leaders ever, I like to think of something he said.  I then repeat it to myself over and over and over again, until it gets in my subconscious, and stays with me forever and ever.

“The kingdom of God is within you”.

French historian Henri Guillemin

This was Jesus’s answer when asked when the kingdom of God would

“The kingdom of God is within you”.

I like that thought, and I take it to mean all I desire is within me, not outside of me, and if I search within myself I can access it any time I want.

Imagine if you knew that, really knew it, and sent that vibration out into the universe every day of your life.

Do you think your life would be more joyful, more productive, and more loving?

I do, and that’s a christmas present worth giving, and receiving.

So please join me below for a Wingman Minute, and let’s both find our own “Kingdom of God”.

Wishing You a Very Merry Wingman Christmas,
Your Wingman,

PS… You can practice with me every morning, either on Facebook, at Be Your Own Wingman, on Twitter, @wingmanmichael, or on YouTube, at beyourownwingman.

PSS… If you want to improve your positive energy, increase your level of success, and begin living the life you desire, feel free to contact me for Skype sessions with both Janet, an LCSW and Psychotherapist for the past 20 years, and myself.




We all should have a teacher like Jasmyn Wright.

So last Wednesday I had to go back to Fox Chase Hospital for a follow up from my kidney biopsy.
I had a stent that had to be removed.

The procedure was a cystoscopy, where they had to go back in through my urethra so as to remove the stent.

This would be the fourth time I would be having this procedure.

The first time the pain was so unbearable I never saw that doctor again and can still “feel” it.

The second time was recently. Because of the past pain, I was so nervous going in, but the doctor, after beginning, stopped immediately and said he can’t continue because I have a stricture and the pain would be too great. I understood and I thanked him.

The third time is when they put me under and did the biopsy on my kidney. Of course I was under so I felt no pain.

This would be the fourth time and my memory of the pain was destroying my vibration.
I was stressed, nervous and fearful.

And as you know, when you send out that type of vibration, the universe matches it and sends you back more to be anxious about.
I was a mess.

The day prior, I was trying not to think about it (good luck with that) and as I was reading to stay up with my hometown news, I came upon the following…

It’s about Jasmyn Wright, a third-grade teacher at Frederick Douglass Mastery Charter School in Philadelphia, who was surprised when a video she posted on her Facebook page showing her leading her students in a chant of “I’m going to push though” in the face of adversity went viral after the election. It has over 3.5 million views and because of that she was invited onto the Today show.

She was so awesome, I decided to use her chant as my morning practice for my “day of pain”.
Click here to see her leading her students in the chant…

I had a hard time sleeping the night before the procedure so I started practicing this mantra. “I’m going to push through, I’m going to push through”. I kept repeating it over and over throughout the night and into the next morning.

And the most amazing thing happened. There was very little pain and I was done in 30 minutes. I was ecstatic.

Now perhaps it’s because it’s not really a painful procedure and my doctor from years before just wasn’t qualified.

I believe however, that it was because I sent out a vibration that nothing can harm me, and whatever pain, obstacles or challenges arise in my path, I would push through.

Click here to see my practice from that morning…

Either way… Thank you Miss Wright, and your students at Frederick Douglass Mastery Charter School for helping me change my energy and start sending out a better vibration.

Have a great day, and know you too, can push through,


PS… You can practice with me every morning, either on Facebook, at Be Your Own Wingman, on Twitter, @wingmanmichael, or on YouTube, at beyourownwingman.

PSS… If you want to improve your positive energy, increase your level of success, and begin living the life you desire, feel free to contact me for Skype sessions with both Janet, an LCSW and Psychotherapist for the past 20 years, and myself.

Dear Philly Eagles, Yes I can.

 Eagles Fans Know My Pain.

As I watched my beloved Philadelphia Eagles lose to Seattle last week, my emotions ran the gamut from hope to horror to anger to frustration to sadness.

And that was from just watching one player, wide receiver Nelson Agholor.8973790-nelson-agholor-nfl-philadelphia-eagles-detroit-lions-850x560

Hope… because the guy was a first round pick, a hard worker and a fantastic athlete.

Horror… because lately, he can’t catch a ball, a prerequisite for a “receiver”.

Anger… because his mental error wiped out the Eagles best play of the day.

Frustration… because, well if you’ve been following the Eagles this year, you understand.

Sadness… because watching a highly acclaimed professional athlete hit rock bottom is very sad. I’m not speaking about the physical side of the ledger, that’s sad but it happens to everyone. No, the sadness I’m speaking of is in seeing a gifted young man breaking down mentally.

And seeing it I did. It was as if I were watching Law of Attraction 101… “The better it gets, the better it gets. The worse it gets, the worse it gets”.

112016-agholor-sotrefframe_1His vexation is growing and his momentum is sinking.

Someone needs to throw him a life preserver, because it’s not just football we’re talking about anymore.

It therefore came as no surprise when, as I sat down to lunch with a friend this week, his first words were, “The Eagles, and Nelson Agholor, need you.

“I know”, was all I responded.

And so, being a life long Eagles fan, I’m offering my services. We can meet down at Novacare Way, or, even easier, we can start by having Mr. Agholor watch a few of my videos.

And let’s see if we can start changing his vibration.

There is nothing worse then when you are in negative energy and can’t get a foothold. It’s a downward spiral of depression where Sir Isaac Newton’s first law of motion can tell you where you will end up.

And it’s not up.

You don’t need to be a professional athlete to experience it.

You do need a Wingman though to help you bounce back.

And if you can’t locate your own, inner wingman, then find another.
Because you must first stop the negative momentum.
And until you do, it will continue to grow.

What’s a Wingman to do?

Well, the first rule when you’re digging yourself into a hole, is to stop digging.
So often, we’re the reason for our steady decline.

It doesn’t start out that way, but once we allow that destructive energy into our minds, we become our own worse enemy.

And watching it play out in front of millions of television viewers is extremely difficult.

After his mental error eviscerated the growing hope and excitement of his teammates, and all of Philadelphia, you knew it had to affect him. Though he seemed to bounce back a few plays later when he ran a beautiful route, escaped coverage and saw a perfectly thrown pass coming his way.

When it clanked off his hands, you knew he was done.

25131061-_uy3062_ss3062_Perhaps it’s the fishbowl they live in, but this type of thing happens once in a while in professional sports. A pitcher can no longer throw strikes, a golfer gets the “yips”, a receiver can no longer receive.

It’s time to forget physical practice, that won’t help him right now.

He needs to start doing some wingman positivity practices.
And grow into the football player, and more importantly, the man he is able to be.

If you feel your vibration is one of resistance, click below and join me in today’s practice.

Your Wingman,

PS… You can practice with me every morning, either on Facebook, at Be Your Own Wingman, on Twitter, @wingmanmichael, or on YouTube, at beyourownwingman.

PSS… If you want to improve your positive energy, increase your level of success, and begin living the life you desire, feel free to contact me for Skype sessions with both Janet, an LCSW and Psychotherapist for the past 20 years, and myself.