Have you ever said or done something you felt bad about?
And not have an opportunity to immediately apologize
and ‘make things right’.
This is the messy place I found myself in recently.
Quick backstory… I went to a Law of Attraction Meet-Up in New York City the other night. I had been to it a few years before, when ‘Be Your Own Wingman’ was still just a hobby. It was mobbed back then, about 70-80 people. It felt too touchy-feely for me then, but now, as I’ve been building the Wingman Workout, I decided it would be wise to go back. After all, Paul, who runs it, must be doing something right to have such a good following.
Second time back there, about 50 people.
All practicing being positive. It was beautiful.
The only problem was me.
I timed my day terribly and got stuck in New York City traffic.
My hour and a half ride had taken close to 4 hours.
I came in with attitude.
So much was my concern about traffic that I left a bit early.
My poor planning had put a damper on the whole experience.
Over the next few days I realized how much I gained from Paul’s workshop. I had a good positive feeling from it and I also got a few ideas and practices I could utilize in my Wingman Workout.
What could be bad? Sounds like a win-win all around.
Except, as co-host of the Talk-n-Angels radio show,
I mentioned, “I didn’t like it”, on air.
And while we’re not Oprah, we do have a following.
And my comments were just plain wrong.
And I heard it about it from some listeners, including Paul.
Here’s a man who is helping people, successfully doing workshops,
and I was being negative.
And what I realized after the fact is… it wasn’t ‘it’ I didn’t like.
It was me.
I was jealous, felt bad about feeling jealous, and felt worse that I had said something unkind about a nice man doing wonderful work.
On the radio.
Talk about buzz kill.
What would you do?
Of course I emailed my apologies and mentioned my mea culpa on the show the following week.
But I still found myself going back to it, like a scab you can’t stop picking. Focusing on something that feels bad, over and over and over again. Not wise for my well being.
So I did what I so often do? I asked, “What would my Wingman say?”
“Change your focus. Move on. Put it behind you.”
Hmmm. Easier said then done.
Though, with that as my goal, I decided to practice changing my focus and moving on. I immediately began feeling better which I feel is always a better time to strategize and come up with a plan.
So here’s my plan. Maybe you can benefit from it as well.
In honor of Paul, I’m going to practice letting the jealousy thing go.
And I’m going to continue practicing until I’m successful.
Every time I feel covetous of another’s joy or success I will immediately practice replacing that feeling with one of celebration for them.
This is called ‘Celebrating the Closeness of the Match’.
By celebrating another’s victory, I stop resisting my own.
This feeling of joy for another’s triumphs is something I can practice.
Practice with me. Say…
“As of right now, I release all feelings of jealousy, covetousness and envy and replace them with love, openness and acceptance.”
Take a minute to feel that, breathe it in. How does it feel to let it go?
Just let it go. It’s not a useful feeling. It’s not helping you in any way.
They say when you can feel joy for others, you’ll start receiving joy for yourself. Give it a try.
It will take some practice. The grooves in my brain want to bring it back where it’s always gone. It will take practice to change that initial response in my mind from jealousy to joyous, from coveting to connecting. Others have done it. I can too.
Today I will start.