“Hocus, Pocus, Change My Focus”.

I realize how challenging life can be, especially when we’re in the midst of loss.
Everything seems to snowball to the point where you can’t “get all the injustices out of your head”.

We all go through ups and downs.
Not to overstate the obvious, but the up times are a whole lot more fun.
The down times can range from mild depression to “hell on earth”.

I remember being in a really dark place.
I was living on friend’s couches, with a feeling of hopelessness.
It felt like all I wanted was to “catch my footing” and stop all the misery.

I remember thinking, if I could just hold at this level, I could begin to turn it around.
And then something else would happen to knock me down even further.

Looking back, and with all I’ve learned from Law of Attraction, it’s become very clear… because I kept focusing on all the negatives, the universe kept sending me more to be negative about.
It’s all about how you are feeling and the energy you are giving off.

“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics”.
Albert Einstein

I remember when I realized I could practice changing my vibration.
And I came up with a fun little practice I still do to this day.
I’d do it for one minute and it helped.
Maybe it can help you too.

I called it “Hocus, Pocus, Change my Focus” because that’s what I would say to myself.

It started when I couldn’t shake my focus from all that was going wrong in my life. I’d say, “Hocus, Pocus, Change my Focus ” for one minute.

A couple funny things about this practice.

1. By the end of the minute I would be laughing that I was doing something so ridiculous to change my focus, that I’d actually forget the negative thing I was focused on. At least for that minute.
2. When I now do presentations to businesses, this little exercise always seems to be a favorite. Weeks, and even months after, I’ll get emails about “Hocus, Pocus”.

Give it a try right now for one minute.

Coming out of a funk, takes work.  And it’s grueling work because when you’re surrounded by so much despair, it’s difficult to “emit a positive frequency” when all around you is toxic.

But I am proof you can practice your way out of it.  And live a life of your choosing.  You can too.

You’ve got this.

It’s as easy as “Hocus, Pocus”,


The Laughing Practice

Michael Gross “The Wingman” demonstrates his 1-minute laughing practice.

Post Archives


“Hocus, Pocus, Change My Focus”.

I realize how challenging life can be, especially when we’re in the midst of loss. Everything seems to snowball to the point where you can’t “get all the injustices out of your head”. We all go through ups and downs. Not to overstate the... read more

Gentle Reminder, or rather a BIG, IN YOUR FACE Reminder…

Gentle Reminder… or rather a BIG, IN YOUR FACE, REMINDER… This Monday night, at The Center, Life in Balance… How I Manifested My Dream Working 4 minutes a Day! You Can Too! Wingman Positivity Training Workshop. Monday, May 16th, 6:30 – 8:30 pm... read more

It’s Just a Ride… Mother’s Day 2016

I was driving home yesterday from my Mother-in Law’s, thinking about my mom in Rhode Island, my step-daughter in Australia, my daughter in Alabama, and my son in New York, and how so many of us are separated from our families on Mother’s day. Then this... read more

Dealing with Temptations, tonight on Talk-n-Angels radio.

Back by popular demand… my wife Jan, a psychotherapist for the past 20 years, joins me to discuss dealing with temptations tonight on Talk-n-Angels radio.  Listen in at 7pm, http://www.talknangels.com. (scroll down and click listen live to show). It’s... read more

Coming Home.

There’s a great story in Jewish and Buddhist circles about the Jewish mother who treks to Thailand in search of a famous guru. After an exhaustive 24 hours of travel, by plane, train, Songthaew and Tuk tuk, she makes it to Wat Arun, the famous temple in Bangkok.... read more

“I’m a Lucky Guy” one minute practice.

Today I bring you a great practice live from Thailand! I’ve videoed myself doing my one minute, “I’m a lucky guy” practice, so let’s have some fun together and get some good luck going all over this world! Join with me in doing this... read more

Thinking Distortions, on Talk-n-Angels radio…

Tonight on Talk-n-Angels, Michael and his wife Janet, an LCSW therapist, will discuss the most common thinking distortions, and how to eliminate them. One of the biggest factors, and reasons for anxiety, nervousness and depression are the falsifications our minds play... read more

Join Me in Bangkok…

If you’re in Bangkok for Songkran, the start of the Thai New Year, please join me for a Wingman, “Live Your Dream, Build Your Inner Team” workshop at Omroom, “the wellness spa in the heart of the city”. Live Your Dream Build Your Inner... read more

Five Things for World Peace and Happiness.

Today I bring you day 1, part 2 of my meetings with the Venerable Jung Bong Mu Mu from South Korea. For those of you who missed the first one, http://beyourownwingman.com/perfect-emptiness/, this is the second installment of my conversations with him. These exchanges... read more

Daily Positivity Coaching.

Are you looking to live your dream? It all starts with being positive. After my last Increasing Your Positivity course, many of the participants wanted to continue. Therefore I have decided to create a daily positivity coaching program. I’ve seen what it can do... read more

Perfect Emptiness

One of the highlights of my 4-month trip to Thailand has been the 4 amazing days Jan and I spent with the Venerable Moo Moo Sunim and his 2 disciples from South Korea. The lessons I learned from him on Buddhism, life and enlightenment were too precious for me not to... read more

The Darker Side…

We started our visit to Chiang Rai in bad spirits. I had broken my glasses and Jan had an episode with a wild dog that had left her unnerved. After a long morning trying to find an optical shop that could fix my glasses, and a visit to the hospital for a doctor... read more

Almost Paradise

“Almost Paradise”, a story Janet wanted to share. After six weeks of the excitement and chaos of Chiang Mai, it was time to head north for a change of scenery and some exploration. We decided to return to Chiang Dao for a couple of days. We caught the 8:00... read more

Tonight… Lessons from a Zen Master.

It’s been a surreal week as Jan and I met with the Venerable Mu Mu Sunim and his disciples from South Korea. We met by chance, one year ago (http://beyourownwingman.com/truth-from-zen-master-moo-moo-sunim/) and stayed in touch via email. I’m still trying... read more

I am Nakbin.

It is 510 steps up the mountain to Wat Tham Pha Plang, a Thai Buddhist temple built into the Chiang Dao Mountain. We were staying about 500 yards away in a bamboo hut that was surrounded by jungle.  We had planned on staying only 1 day but it was so beautiful we... read more

Join me tonight, straight from Thailand…

I’m flying solo on the Talk-n-Angels radio show tonight as Rita is taking the night off. I’ll be discussing what I’m learning about Buddhism, how it’s impacted my wingman philosophy, and how it can help all of us in the Western world. Listen... read more

Never Ending Valentine.

A belated happy Valentine’s Day and a sweet memory from Janet. After four days of being on the road in northern Thailand, hiking through mountain villages and taking mini bus rides with 800 sickening, gorgeous hairpin curves, we arrived back in Chiang Mai,... read more

My Wife, the Guru. And the Monk’s Trail.

The Monk’s Trail… my wife had read about it on Pinterest. A concealed trek through the forest to Wat Pha Lat, a temple rarely visited by tourists. Perhaps that’s because it’s halfway up the road to it’s much more famous sibling, Wat Doi Suthep, the most well... read more

Wingman Home Course Starts this Monday.

Wingman “Increasing Your Positivity” Home Course Starts this Monday, February 1st, 2016. Registration ends Sunday, January 31st. I’m starting another Wingman Home Course this Monday, and I’m certain it will help you increase your positive... read more

Finding What You Want.

Thanks for all the return emails from my Sawadee Kap post (http://beyourownwingman.com/sawadee-kap-from-thailand/).  I so appreciate the comments and well wishes about how things are working out for Jan and me. They are, and we’re both very grateful. My hope... read more

Sawadee Kap from Thailand

Hope all is going well and you’ve been seeing swans since my last post. Our trip’s been going very smoothly. We were in Bangkok for 5 days but I wanted a break from the big city, think New York on the hottest of summers, only hotter, more crowded, and more... read more